You hate bikes?

The original iteration of this site was once called “I hate bikes”, back from its roots as a ‘zine published by bike shop employees.

We often had to explain the thought behind it. Here are some of the things we would say:

i·ro·ny (ī’rə-nē)

definition:

1. The use of words to express something different from and often opposite to their literal meaning.
2. An expression or utterance marked by a deliberate contrast between apparent and intended meaning.

Click here if you don’t get it yet. Or have Alanis explain it to you.

I understand we Americans don’t read so good, and because this is such a frequently asked question, we’ve decided it was time it merited its own page on the website. So here it is:

Why do you hate bikes?

1. I hate my bike because it makes me feel bad about myself.
2. See this scar right here? Not that one. Not that one either. Or that one. That one. That one right there.
3. See. #1. My bike makes me look fat.
4. I blame my bike for my major suck-fest at the slopestyle/ DH/ Super D/ jam/ whatever last night.
5. Two words: flat tires.
6. My bike makes me feel like a little bitch.
7. If you love bikes, you’re helping the terrorists win.
8. This bike is so last year’s model. I’m over it.
9. See #1. My bike makes me feel slow.
10. Because I can’t afford to replace my top-of-the-line Saint derailleur on my DH bike this week.
11. Because I hate freedom, puppies, and blow jobs.
12. Because it keeps breaking on me. It let me down when I needed it the most. Why?!!! Why did you leave me!!!!?
13. Fuck you. I love my bike.

We know you feel it. Leave some good reasons below; the best ones will be added to the list.